We should never, EVER trust ANYONE who can’t capitalise “Family” properly.

We all know that the Tea Party are nuts. What you may not be so sure of is how nutty the republican party are by comparison.

Pretty bad still. Far right fundamentalist christian* group “FAMiLY Leader” has published a pledge which all republican presidential candidates need to sign to get their support, which, as a far right christian group, is probably substantial.

The full list of them is pretty insane:

The Meat and Potatoes of the pledge.

Now lets see what we can find just in this alone (ignoring the equally crazy and much less concise footnotes and references):

  • The first one, “Personal fidelity to my spouse” is odd, considering the Republican party’s historically tenuous grasp on fidelity. While we’re at it, #2 “respect for the marital bonds of others”; does that stop them from meddling with and same sex marriage? Should do.
  • “Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, etc…” Yet more reasons why gay couples should be allowed to marry, considering the references make it sound like same-sex marriage is a health issue.
  • “[Protect] the definition of marriage as between one man and one woman in all of the United States.” And just when I thought that this pledge was recommending that gay couples get married ASAP, they throw us a curveball.
  • Also, the way they put it makes it sound like there’s only one legally recognised married couple in the whole country. Or that you have to get married in every state in the US. Actually, that’s an awesome idea!
  • More fun comes in the form of the “rejection of Sharia Law, and all other anti-woman, anti-human rights forms of totalitarian control.” Yes, Tea Party Members have already signed this! The lack of self awareness is awe inspiring, as is their islamophobia.
  • “Humane production of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy” up to and including (I shit you not) “[banning] all forms of pornography”. Wait… these people are waging war on THE INTERNET! Yeah, we all know how that usually goes.
  • Homosexuality is like second-hand smoking (still not making this up), whereas “robust childbearing and reproduction is beneficial [sic] to US demographic, economic, strategic and actuarial health and security”.
I genuinely don’t know what’s more insane; that someone’s written it, or that Michelle Bachmann**, Tim Pawlenty, Rick Sontaran and various other republican presidential candidates are actually discussing it.

The original post that showed me this can be found here. For everything I know about the Republican candidates, go talk to Jen McReight

For amusing songs about right-wing homophobia and hypocrisy, see:

* The spell-checker on google chrome insists that christian is spelt with a fucking Capital “C”. What the fuck has become of basic literacy? What other groups do we give capital letters? None.

Lets try this out – muslim, hindu, atheist, jew, agnostic, banker. Three of those didn’t get capitalised, can you guess which ones? Social groups should not be capitalised, even if they are the one true path to enlightenment. *facepalm*

** She has an excuse – she’s a Tea-Partier.***

*** I refuse to say teabagger. It sounds silly, and is offensive to practitioners of the sexual practice and players of Halo everywhere.

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Posted on July 8, 2011, in Stuff I found somwhere on an Internet. and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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