Monthly Archives: February 2012

I’m telling all my friends now.

I know that this is only a brief filler picture, but Coelasquid of Manly Guys Doing Manly Things has just fulfilled all of my dreams at once. Today’s comic could be a picture of Robert Pattinson and the words “Praise Him” and I would still forgive her after this.

Seriously, though; read her comic if you don’t already. It’s full of more awesome than even this cake.

Well, as much awesome as this cake. This much awesome is difficult to manage.

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HO SHI~

I’m glad I held off reading The Lay Scientist’s takedown of Coalition for Marriage until after I’d written my own. ‘Cause he went for the same format as I did, and made many of the same points.

Unsurprisingly, I agree with Martin Robbins’ ridicule and disdain for this cowardly maneuver. Set ‘hat’ = ‘taken off’ to The Lay Scientist.

One downside, though: if I’d read his first, I’d have known that this is Lord Carey’s doing. Shame on you!

Yes, apparently this nun doesn't approve of your homophobic pretenses against gay marriage. It's a funny old world.

Stupidity is spreading like a virus

Why is this happenning here, of all places. Jeebers, it’s bad enough that there are idiots in the states that think this is viable, but it’s worse that now the UK is getting hit by people who think that gay people don’t deserve marriage.

Not civil partnerships. That’s like saying “you can’t celebrate birthdays; no, you get annual enjoyment and life fulfillment celebrations.” It means something similar, but no-one in their right minds would think it was equal, because there are straight people over there with proper birthday parties!

This trend really pisses me off, and I think the main reason is that the arguments are just such crap. Here is what Coalition for Marriage says, responded to, by me, in a foul-mouthed stream-of-consciousness screed:

“Throughout history and in virtually all human societies marriage has always been the union of a man and a woman.”

For years of my life, I thought that it was OK to eat sand. Then I got to the age of 10, and realised that that was stupid, and I should change what I was doing to reflect that stupidity.

“Civil partnerships already provide all the legal benefits of marriage so there’s no need to redefine marriage. “

Ignoring what I said before: Civil partnerships already provide all the legal benefits of marriage so WHY NOT CALL THEM MARRIAGE?

“If marriage is redefined, those who believe in traditional marriage will be sidelined.”

Yeah, because once that’s happened, then no-one’s gonna want boring old regular skittles – everyone wants the awesome new crazy sour skittles that are all hip and new and shit. Except for the boring old straight people who make up 90% of the population.

Baldercrap! Gay people marrying is never, EVER going to change whether or not straight people want to get married. Ever.

“…and schools would inevitably have to teach the new definition to children.”

And? We made Pluto not a planet. That’s gonna affect a couple of hundred thousand science books, not a poxy few books on law and equality. Teachers will cope. Unless they’re homophobes.

And continue yelling!

“If marriage is redefined once, what is to stop it being redefined to allow polygamy?”

I’m not a polygamist, but tell me why that would be a bad thing. You can’t just state it and assume I’ll agree with you that polygamy is bad. Hell, people can make themselves happy in whatever consensual way doesn’t affect me. Does it affect you?

“Same-sex couples may choose to have a civil partnership but no one has the right to redefine marriage for the rest of us.”

Doesn’t redefine the – I assume – special bond you have with your partner. Your marriage isn’t having its source code tampered with.

“People should not feel pressurised to go along with same-sex marriage just because of political correctness.”

Ah, appealing to people’s hatred of PC-ness. Very clever, you!

“The Coalition draws upon a substantial body of evidence showing that marriage – as it has been understood for thousands of years – is beneficial to society, and that changing its definition would undermine that benefit.”

If marriage is so awesome, why are you blocking more of it from occurring? If you’re going to claim that it has less of a benefit if it’s gay, then prove it; show me good science!

“The Coalition is backed by politicians, lawyers, academics and religious leaders. It reaches out to people of all faiths and none, who believe that marriage is the most successful partnership in history and should not be redefined.”

Wait. Say that again.

“The Coalition is backed by politicians, lawyers, academics and religious leaders.

So you are backed by the SINGLE biggest group of policy makers and breakers in the country. Here we come to the thing I find most unappealing and monstrous about this whole campaign because, you see, this is a petition. But if it’s a petition, then why, OH WHY, are you telling us that you are essentially in the majority?

You don’t need our help. Go! Do what you want. Fuck with other people’s lives – we literally can’t stop you, if you have the backing you claim.

But why should we support you, if you’re the majority, and are in power? Oh, that’s right, because you’re doing battle against the rights of a minority. A tiny, vocal minority. A tiny, vocal minority that’re doing things you don’t like. And that terrifies you.

Fuck off, Coalition. To use internet speech*, go die in a fire. Can someone set up an “Anti-Coalition” Coalition? I’d totally sign that.

***

For actual news on this subject, check out this Pink News article I found.

For a funnier response to gay marriage than I could formulate, watch below.

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Update: Lordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcareylordcarey…

* Which is like the black speech but worse.

The Hang of Music: Fisher of Kings

I’ve run out of funny ways to say I’m a latey, late latepants, and am publishing this on a Friday for no good reason.

Hopefully, running out of ways to sayit means I’m not going to do it again. YAY!

On that note, onto this week’s album, M. Ward’s “Hold Time”. Praise Be!

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The Hang of Music: Return to Wherever

If you were to look up Schedule Slip in the dictionary, you may see a picture of me. Alternatively, if you’ve seen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, you might find the definition of Schedule Slip – which I fucking am!

Seriously, the definition is right up there, and god do I suck at sticking to these. Ah well, I hope it’s worth it for you guys because, that’s right, today is Friday, which means yesterday was Thursday, which means it’s review o’clock, baby!

This wee, we have TV on the Radio, and music on the internet in the form of their second album – “Return to Cookie Mountain”.

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Reinformed!

I know today is supposed to be a day of talking about free expression, but I can’t help myself. So I shall have to freely express some joy, then!

As you probably all know, I am a total Mass Effect/Bioware fanboy. Seriously – huge! Well, Borderhouse was kind enough to link me to this; the long awaited, finally arrived, all-FemShep trailer for Mass Effect 3. And it is awesome!

Even if it means that I’m gonna have to get it on Origin, I don’t care. Tell your friends (who work at Gamestation, natch) we’re coming for them!

Defending Free Expression with Other People’s Words

Right now, a speech is going on in London (and in various other places round the world) which I thoroughly wish to be attending, but cannot. This is because I am currently at work, (I’ve kindly asked the sentient AI in my room to post this for me once it’s done ironing my socks), and am in another county.

I’ve mentioned this all before, about why we need to defend our free speech, and why this is happening now, and what the fuck is going on.

So, I’ve been thinking of how best to show my support. And this what I’ve come up with:

SKEPTICAL COMIC REPOSTS FOR EVERYONE!

I had to use this, if only because it started the ball rolling.

Free Expression is Like Metaphors

The freedom to express our own opinions is simple and powerful. The reasons why we should use and be able to use this freedom are doubly so.

In fact, it’s so glaringly obvious that I can’t bring myself to talk about it straight. To discuss it in simple terms would be banal and boring.

So, to keep myself interested while I do so, I’m going to use a metaphor. And now that you mention it, I have a suitable metaphor right here: music review.

When some people talk, their views are coloured by their love of the Beatles. Others are deeply affected by their love of The Kinks. And some people just think 60s pop is overrated. When writing reviews, the Beatlites talk of John, Paul, Ringo and George, while the Kinkiers talk of the one true Ray Davies.

Which is which?

And the a-60s-ists are writing articles about how rubbish and uninformed the songs of the day were, and why singing “Ooh! Ah! Ah!” in the background of pop classics sucks. This infuriates the other groups, who take it as a personal insult, even when it’s not.

The Beatlites, already in the majority, just clamp down their political sway, and bear it. They talk about the good old days when the Beatles were the only real pop group, and complain, wrongly, that Beatles fans are in the minority. Some of them get into power based on their knowledge of ancient Wings singles, and use that power expressly to benefit people who loved the White Album above all others.

The Kinkiers, or a select few of them, get totally fucking pissed about the a-60s-ists, and claim that they are being persecuted. Then they burn someone’s house down.

A few Daviesites take this too far.

What’s wrong with this fucking picture? I, as an a-60s-ist shouldn’t have to stop saying how much I hate vocables and silly love songs just because some people take it badly.

But more than that. The claim that you hear most often is not people are saying the unspeakable. The claim is that hating 60s pop is OK, and that talking about it is fine, but the way you talked about Lennon just then was offensive, and should be stopped. If only you’d found a better way to say that you didn’t like his trite love songs, or his private life.

The claim of offense is a cheap get out. It’s admitting that you’re allowed to hold different opinions. And it’s admitting that you are allowed to talk about them. But every single instance where you express your opinions openly and clearly; that’s offensive!

In many ways, it’s like Intelligent Design; it dresses itself up in science, agrees that science is right, and the only way to know about the world, then says that all non-Intelligent Design scientists are doing science wrong.

If anything here is offensive, it is that dressing up of personal biases and prejudices in reason and democracy. It is as offensive as it is insidious.

Very.

Links:

The convention we in the UK are part of: http://www.echr.coe.int/NR/rdonlyres/D5CC24A7-DC13-4318-B457-5C9014916D7A/0/ENG_CONV.pdf. (See Article 10. )

What wiki has to say about us: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_speech_by_country#United_Kingdom

One Law for All, the people behind today’s protest, and specifically Maryam Namazie.

Jesus and Mo (who I’ll be spamming all day) and Rhys Morgan, the fuses that lit this.

The Hang of Music: Now A Word From Our Sponsor

That title is complete lies, unless KRS has been planning to send me cash in the post. I can understand that, cos he’s in demand, and air mail’s slow coming from the east coast.

If you get the KRS-One reference, then you won’t be surprised to hear that this week, I am listening to KRS-One and Scott LaRock, aka Boogie Down Productions, with their debut – “Criminal Minded”.

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Yo, Is This Hilarious?

I’ve been trawling “Yo, Is This Racist?” for far too long, and felt I had to share this video, posted for being just too damn hilarious.

In the words of Andrew Ti, operator of the site;

“I have nothing to add to this, other than this dude is one of the best storytellers I have ever seen.”

Also, check out the rest of the site – it’s just damned hilarious how many people are (say it with me) “raciiiist aaaas fuuuuuck!

(Also also, true dat.)